I’ve been out with Mr. Pineapple two more times in the past week. I should also mention that he knows he’s Mr. Pineapple because he’s the first guy I’ve told about this email thread. I really tried not to at first, but my coy vagueness could not keep his questions about my creative writing pursuits at bay. So on our last date I awkwardly told him about this, that I’ve purchased the URL (haiiii), and that I’m trying to figure out how to (and if I even should) evolve this. He didn’t run for the hills (perhaps because it was raining at the time), instead joking about how he was live tweeting all our dates. He’s pretty funny.
If you’ve seen my Instagram, you’ll have seen that we ended up at a bar that offered free shots if you could prove you were on a Tinder date. The only problem was that Mr. Pineapple had deleted his Hinge profile, leaving us proofless. So he launched into the story of my email thread as I prepared to pull it up on my phone for the bartender, and I think we were just so annoying and full of details that the bartender finally acquiesced. FREE SHOTS FOR US!!!!
In light of the fact that Mr. Pineapple knows about all of us here, I feel weird spilling every juicy detail, so I’ll just leave you with this: We made out.