Last week, I got dinner with Queens Guy. It was almost like living in any other normal city because he picked me up and dropped me off in a Car2Go! He refused to let me split the bill, but at least I tried. It was enjoyable, but I don’t feel a spark, so I don’t think I should go out with him again. Our texting seems to already be fizzling, so maybe he feels the nothing too; but I’ll of course say something if I have to.

On Sunday, I got ice cream and pierogies (weird fuckin’ coma-inducing combo) with Navy Guy (formerly known as Bumble Virgin). We’ve only had two very brief day dates, so there’s been ZERO kissing, just half hugs… We’ve been texting a fair amount, and of course I’m smitten because I apparently can’t resist a man in uniform (what a cliche I am! I repulse myself!). However, I can’t gauge his interest in me, and I’m currently in limbo because the last text I sent him yesterday morning still hasn’t been” delivered”… My guess—due to detective work on Bumble and my own run-amok imagination—is that he got mugged at Penn Station on his way to Albany for the week, resulting in his phone lying dead on a subway track. I plan on texting him a breezy, holiday-related text on Friday to make sure he also didn’t die.

Mostly unrelated note to self: It’s great that you’ve stopped smoking with guys, but for the love of god please also stop texting with them while high. It’s just as bad.

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