Diet Coke Dealer forgot that we had made plans to hang out on Labor Day, my saddest day of every year as I return from my San Diego vacation. I asked him to call me instead, and he said he would after dinner with his mom, but he never did. I didn’t hear from him at all that week. I called him that Friday night, and he didn’t answer that or the follow-up text I sent. On Sunday night, I texted: “If you insist on ignoring me, then I can only assume this is over.”
The next morning, as I was leaving barre class, he texted me. He said his uncle had a stroke and he went to Connecticut without his phone (I doubt the latter, but didn’t bring it up). He also said he hasn’t been doing well lately, and has been really sad and can’t seem to shake it. Having already experienced the Depression-Dumping on multiple occasions (see: Army Spy, Mr. Pineapple, Neighbor Boy), I thanked him for finally responding, wished him the best, and told him that I liked him a lot but understood this probably wouldn’t work out. He thanked me, told me he liked me a lot too, and said he hoped he could see me again. I told him I hoped for that too, but he’d have to be the one to reach out. He agreed. After a bit more texting and a lot more crying, I went to work. It was an awful day. On Tuesday, I couldn’t stop thinking about our 20-minute text conversation, how there might have been some miscommunication, and how I’d feel a lot better if we could talk on the phone. After work, I texted him (clarifying that this was not me reaching out, but requesting a continuation of the previous day’s chat) saying that I didn’t like having meaningful conversations over text and asked if he’d be open to a quick phone call sometime soon. It’s normal for him to take forever to respond—or sometimes, not respond at all—so I’m not getting my hopes up that he ever will. Either way, sending that text and asking for what I needed instantly made me feel so much better.
Diet Coke Dealer had the most red flags of anyone I’ve ever dated, and I know deep down we’re not supposed to end up together, so it’s probably best if he actually never reaches back out. Still, we had a lot of fun together, and I hope he can get a handle on figuring out his life. Also, I’ll miss his cats.
In the meantime, I don’t plan on re-downloading any apps until after I return from my solo trip to Finland in mid-October.