#100 Happy 5 Years …to this eccentric email experiment

No word from Sauce Man, as expected, but I did run into his Hinge profile last weekend. His answer that initiated our matching (”Typical Sunday”) changed from “running, edible, errands” to “long run, spliff, errands.” He also updated the cigarette section from “Never” to “Sometimes.” I don’t know why he’s intentionally making himself less attractive to potential mates, but maybe my complete intolerance of his slowly-increasing tobacco use really bummed him out. He’s also now seeking an avid runner (I guess I wasn’t athletic/outdoorsy enough in the highly specific ways he wanted), so I wish him the best of luck in finding a health-oriented woman who is cool with cigarettes. There’s someone for everyone!

On a similarly adjacent note, I was in a rooftop yoga class Thursday morning when I spied Sauce Man’s cousin a few rows back. She doesn’t live nearby so this was especially random. I intended to say hi to her after class because 1) I did like her, and 2) I wanted to prove I am gracious as fuck and doing really well—but as the Universe would have it, it started to rain and I had to bike home before it got worse. In the end, I think it was probably for the best that we didn’t interact.

But anyways, back to Hinge. A few weeks ago, my friend shared a guy’s profile with me, so I had no choice but to recreate my own to engage. Since then, a few guys have asked me out on IRL dates, but our conversations weren’t riveting or even complete enough for me to risk meeting up during a pandemic only to have our first interaction impeded by masked facial expressions. Plus, having missed out on the virtual dating boom of early quarantine, I had been looking forward to meeting men in the safest, laziest way possible.

The one guy who asked me out for virtual drinks seemed pretty cool, so I agreed to MY FIRST ZOOM DATE. Last Wednesday night, I made myself a martini and we chatted for almost 3 hours. It was awkward at moments, but enjoyable overall (so, like, the same as most offline dates?). I have no idea if we’ll have a second virtual date or *gasp* an in-person date, but the gentle ego boost from our sustained, sporadic texting is all I’m really looking for as I continue to focus the majority of my attention on ME ME MEEEEEEEE!

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