I hung out with Bathtub Lawyer one more time last week and it is now abundantly clear that we are definitely just friends, so that’s a relief to know. I went to his apartment to cook a Blue Apron with him and then he played me the ridiculous songs he writes and there was no touching and I left. It’s not weird to keep gchatting with him, but I kind of doubt we’ll hang out in person again.

I went on a Bumble date last night and it was very enjoyable and we laughed and joked a lot, but there wasn’t any chemistry.

I’m spending New Year’s Eve on a plane this year (why haven’t I done this sooner?) and I had the daydream that what if this—the 1 millionth time I’ve flown on a plane—is the time I get to sit next to an attractive, fellow NYE detractor and we fall in love and live happily ever after. Just a thought.


Bathtub Lawyer tried to ghost me and I called him out on it, which led to a pretty good conversation about us both being on the same page about how this maybe doesn’t lead to us dating. A few days after that, we had a Sunday day date and it was the most platonic date of my life. I don’t even think it could be called a date; we half hugged at the end. So I thought, ok, that’s it, cool. But since then, he still gchats me and we still talk and I might be buying a laptop from his dad. We’ve both been pretty busy, but are we just friends? Are we ever hanging out again? Should I find someone new to have sex with?

ALSO, Alabama Boy popped up out of nowhere again (he popped up about 2 weeks after ghosting me the first time and then immediately re-ghosted), and I swiftly shut him down. Dickhole.

And finally, LinkedIn recently suggested I connect with Army Spy, who is now at Wharton Business School. No thanks.


In other news, I’m probably getting an IUD now that I basically have to. :(


It seems I’m enjoying a modest feast after my previous famine.

Last Tuesday, I went out with a lawyer who is my age. He’s a bit of a nerd, super funny, and a surprisingly excellent kisser. We’ve been texting a fair amount since, and made plans to see each other on Sunday (I’ll get to that in a bit). The best part of the story: During one of these text sessions, he disclosed to me that he is a “bath person,” and instead of showering, he takes a bath every morning. I find this hilarious and still have so many questions. (I’m also jealous that he has a bathtub.)

Slight rewind to Monday: I got into a very nice Bumble conversation with a younger paralegal / aspiring lawyer who commutes (long story) and we swapped phone numbers and made plans for Friday night. During that time, he did not let a day go by without texting me A LOT. We’re talking “goodnight” and “good morning” level, and we hadn’t even met. When we did meet on Friday, the date was good and he was cute and very smart and interesting. Quite the Woke Bro ;) There was no kiss and then NO texting all weekend. I figured, “oh well, maybe he wasn’t feeling it” …until he texted me good morning today. Unsure how this will proceed because….

Yesterday, I met up with Bathtub Lawyer for pizza-eating and covert wine-drinking in Brooklyn Bridge Park. We each ate four slices. Then we walked to his apartment to drink more wine and watch Westworld and the debate. During the debate, he read my mind and baked cookies (he put pre-made dough balls in the oven—nothing fancy). We each ate four cookies. Then the debate ended and I stayed a couple more hours, putting an end to my 5-month celibacy streak. We talked about hanging out this week, but have no definitive plans yet. I definitely enjoy his company.

I also swapped numbers with another dude last week who I really don’t know much about, but he 1) added me on Snapchat (I’m ignoring), and 2) keeps texting me updates from his trip to SF (whyyyyyyyyyyyy????). Bathtub Lawyer also added me on Snapchat last week and I also ignored that, but I might come around to adding him back this week.

As you might have noticed, my latest trend in men is The Law. I’d also like to point out that my two exes* are coincidentally both in the same year of law school, so clearly I have a type. In any case, I’m just relieved the military detour is done.

*Oh yea, and the first one (the asshole) got married last month.