He came to my party on Saturday, and added me on Facebook on Sunday. I’m gonna go with the flow and shut up for the time being.
3 more weeks, 3 more sleepovers. Also, it turned out that neither of us are able to go to The Cape this week, so nevermind!
I presume everything is going fine, but sometimes he’ll go dark for days on end. I’m currently in a he-ignored-my-last-three-texts-so-i’m-gonna-remain-silent-indefinitely standoff. Last time, he texted after four days, and I felt extremely victorious for holding out. It also helps knowing that I am, objectively, the catch in this pairing. Or is that just what confidence feels like?
The thing is, he’s fairly irresponsible (occasionally forgets we have plans, or will ask to hang out day of), and I can’t tell if that’s due to a lack of interest or a lack of what I consider to be basic adult social skills. Not to mention the fact that every dish he owns has been sitting dirty in his sink for months. Nobody would ever consider me a clean freak, so the fact that I think he should toss the lot and give up on owning dishes altogether means something. At least he has cats to keep vermin at bay. And like, all boys are filthy and forgetful, right?
He said he wants to come to my student loans payoff party, but I’m not getting my hopes up because all of the above. Oh yea, I just paid off my last student loan. :D
TLDR: Per usual, I have no idea where I stand or “what we are” and there are enough red flags to keep me from asking, “am I your girlfriend?” So, limbo it is until further notice!
Diet Coke Dealer and I have had two sleepovers since I’ve been back. I (hardly) helped him install his air conditioner, and he volunteered to fold and put away my jeans while I was last-minute tidying. I told my boss about him on Friday because he had recently told her dad about me, so I had to get in front of that. She was appropriately astonished, but not upset; I’m actually just one of many crazy coincidences between the two of them.
He’s mentioned a few times that I should come to his family’s Cape Cod house, so we’ll see if that ends up happening—I’ll be just a ferry ride away when I’m on Martha’s Vineyard for 4th of July. In the meantime, I’m waiting (pretty patiently, if I do say so myself) to see if he’s capable of reaching out to plan a date.
It’s been less than 2 weeks, and Diet Coke Dealer and I have been on 4 dates. On Saturday, we did an escape room with 6 strangers (all male nerds). We escaped with 3 minutes to go! Plus, it was kinda fun to show off my bossy genius side. We were already in Chinatown, so we got hot pot for dinner, and he did all the ordering. Did I mention he’s fluent in Mandarin??? Code cracking and Mandarin, are we a power intelligence couple? He very sweetly invited me to spend the night, even though I had secretly already assumed and packed a toothbrush—a Girl Scout is always prepared!
We saw each other again on Monday because on Sunday morning I told him I’d be gone over Memorial Day Weekend. But before you get so excited, I’ve definitely been the one initiating these dates. What can I say? I love to plan! God help me. On Monday, we got dinner in my neighborhood, and then we hung out at my apartment for a bit. He didn’t sleep over because school night, duh!
So anyways, I should probably mention that we had sex on the second date, and since I do have a magical IUD, we’ve been raw doggin’ it since (but only after I got chafed to bits by the condom the first couple of times). I obviously asked him if he had STDs and HIV before I let that happen, and he said no, and I basically had to believe him. But, because I’m a risk-averse health freak, I couldn’t let all this go on unregulated. On Monday, postcoitus, I requested that since we’re now freely sharing each other’s bodily fluids, maybe it would behoove us if we didn’t share them with anyone else. He got all cute and tried to get me to say that I was asking him to be exclusive, so I romantically reiterated the importance of safe sex with a designated partner, and he responded in kind by agreeing to not swap bodily fluids in an unprotected manner with other people. He added in the “unprotected” loophole, so I’m… still cautious.
It’s always been fun when we’ve spent time together, and I don’t actually have any reason to believe he’s not being sincere, but we don’t really text (haven’t heard from him since he left on Monday). I’m going on vacation tomorrow, and we’ll see if he reaches out to make plans when I’m back. Sigh, I like him.
P.S. I still haven’t mentioned anything to my boss, but I’ll definitely start considering it if I ever see him again.
Friday morning, I started talking to a new guy on Hinge. In the afternoon, he suggested I join him and his friends (along with his sister and cousin…) at a Brazilian dance bar that night. The other option would be to “be normal” and meet for coffee at some point (oh, he’s sober). But he doesn’t go out often because he usually works weekends, and I wanted to check out this bar, so I rounded up a willing wing woman and told him I’d be there. (As soon as we got to the bar, we randomly ran into another wonderful wing woman of mine, and I felt popular as ever :D)
The bar was super loud, which made it nearly impossible for me to hear anything anyone was saying. Not exactly ideal for a first date, but ideal for forcing two new people to dance together. He is white as can be, but has moves for days. He made me look like shit—which doesn’t happen that often in my white-washed bubble. Ever since I danced with that model in Cuba, I knew I could never go back to awkward, boring grinding; so could this be the rhythmic boy band member of my dreams? Perhaps. We danced and made out and I left on the early side, but we made plans to see each other the next day.
On Saturday, it was raining and I felt weird about asking him to color soberly, so I decided that we should see a movie and get dinner. The movie was about Hasidic Jewish lesbians, and we held hands for 70% of it, including the sex scene. We ate dinner (I had one glass of wine), and then he invited me to meet his cats. As we talked and kissed on his couch, we discovered a connection: his mother is married to the father of my boss. They’ve only met once or twice, so I doubt she’d consider him her stepbrother, but that is definitely what he is if we’re getting technical. Small. Fucking. World!! Plus, it made me feel more comfortable staying the night knowing that he wasn’t a completely random stranger.*
We had a lot of fun, and it was pretty nice not having to wonder if he was doing/saying stuff purely because of alcohol’s dubious influence. But of course, that does not necessarily preclude him from being a player/asshole, so my guard is still up. We talked about hanging out next weekend, and I can only hope he’s a man of his word.
Also, he’s comically addicted to Diet Coke, but at least it’s a better vice than the hard stuff!
*To all my coworkers: this absurd discovery is currently a secret, so please keep it to yourselves.