I went out with Coloring Boy four times (coloring book and drinks, food/drinks/ice cream, Smorgasburg and more coloring, Videology), and then ended it. He was extremely complimentary, but not so much complementary. He seemed to like everything about me (which is very nice and smart of him), and yet I couldn’t specify anything about him that I really like. Plus, he’s 29 and looking for a relationship, so I especially didn’t want to waste any more of his time.


In other news:

I got drinks with a newbie last Saturday. He was cute and cool, but I haven’t heard from him, and am okay with that.

I finally hung out with Forbidden Client last Saturday night, along with his friend that we ran into. He’s great, but I don’t think I need to devote any more of my effort to this lost cause. It’s nice to have more friends.

I’m excited to see what summer might bring! #OTL



This is what’s happened in the past month and a half:

  • I went on a date with a long-haired British boy. He was nice and cool, but I don’t think either of us are upset that he never texted.
  • About a month ago, I slept over at The Comedian’s for the first time, because we were drunk (also a first, actually)—so that’s back.
  • I got drinks with an overly aggressive and therefore creepy guy who I’m glad I never have to see again. All I can think when I recall that date is “blech.” (I might be making it sound worse than it was.)
  • I went out with a very nice boy last week who brought a coloring book to the date! #DTC (I brought the colored pencils.) Then we got drunk and made out. We’re getting ice cream tonight.
  • I saw The Comedian again on Saturday night, and he referred to it as a date which is kind of confusing me. We went out for drinks (we don’t normally do this), and then he slept over at my place (also not normal). I don’t fully understand why we’re suddenly going out and sleeping over, but whatever. We are definitely not dating—I know that.
  • I have a first date on Thursday and potentially one on Sunday and I’m excited about neither!
  • I’m still majorly crushing on the forbidden not-my-actual-client, and we now live 2 blocks away from each other, but he is moving to SF soon… so, yea. I can’t tell if he’s super nice and weirdly touchy with EVERYONE, or if he likes me—but I’ll assume the former.
  • My latest dream is to meet a beautiful earth-friendly man at the Park Slope Food Coop, of which I’m now a member. That, or finally convincing fellow owner/worker/shopper Jake Gyllenhaal that we are meant to be.

#23 Chapter Mitch

I went out with Mitch #1 (aka Mitchesota) on Friday night. I was very pleasantly surprised at how tall, cute, and outgoing he was. He’s a bit nerdy and a bit awkward, but it’s all for the best. We didn’t kiss, but he texted me right after to basically tell me that we should have kissed. We have tentative plans to go out again Thursday.

I went out with Mitch #2 (Abercrombie & Mitch) just now. He invited me to dinner at Roberta’s, which— despite usually avoiding first date dinners at all costs—I happily accepted, because pizza. It was a very nice feast in very nice company. He comes off like a bro, but I think he’s secretly a hippie deep down—which is ideal. (We talked about Phish and candle making.) He said he’ll reach out later this week. Extremely brief kiss when he dropped me off in his CAR!

Fun fact: Both Mitches are the middle child of three boys! Wtf! I definitely thought that was a last-resort name!

P.S. Working on secretly seducing Client Boy. Slow and steady wins the race.


After almost having a third date, YoungerMan is out of the picture. It’s fine though, because I’m actually convinced he’s mentally ill to some degree (for reasons OTHER than not wanting to see me again ;)—which I can further explain if you really want to know, but it’s just long-winded and mostly based on my razor sharp intuition. Sorry for being ominous.).

In classic Em G style, I already have my sights set on another, and he may or may not be a client of Red Antler (not my direct client, though). Shhhhhh.

Aside from that, and a random, unassociated pair of Mitchells who have both asked me out, I’m taking a break from active husband-hunting to focus on work and hoard money for my upcoming move. Literally at the office right now, so back to business I go.