Last week’s date with Girls Writer was fine, but there won’t be a second. Fun fact: I accidentally ordered an 11% beer as my first beverage and was very confused when I had double vision halfway through my second (normal percentage) beer.

I received a creatively gross message on OkCupid last week: “Hi I’m Jon, How are you? You look great with a lovely figure. 24cm” …PRETTY sure he’s telling me he has a huge dick, and I obviously had to look up the conversion.

OH…and…I texted Army Spy this evening. 4 weeks was long enough. My message was very honest, nice, and not aggressive at all—I swear. (Ask, and I’ll show you.) Basically, I laid my cards and feelings on the table, and simply asked if he had any desire to see me again. (He’s been looking at my Snapchat stories, but I also know he’s been updating his Bumble profile, so… mixed messages.) That was almost three hours ago, and he hasn’t responded. I’m trying to remain optimistic (I’ve given up pessimism for Lent, btw), but I am afraid he’ll disappoint me and do exactly what he told me he wouldn’t. I’m giving him until bedtime tomorrow before I completely erase him from my phone and social media.

Regardless of if and how he responds, I’m glad I did this. I feel that too often we women are made to think that we’re not allowed to reach out first, not allowed to be honest about our feelings, and not allowed to call guys out on treating us like a disposable piece of trash. I can only hope that by treating them like humans, and acting like one too, it can do at least something to stop us all from turning into a generation of fearful, unfeeling ghosts.

As hard as it is to believe sometimes, I know I’m too great to end up alone. And that goes for all of you, too.


I’ve decided that I’m probably going to reach out to Army Spy on February 16th, which is when Mercury is back to its former grade and glory and exactly 5 weeks after my last conversation with him (as well as exactly 2 months since we last saw each other). I’m sure things could change, but my plan is to basically get a definitive yes or no on whether or not he ever wants to see me again. He owes me that.

In the meantime, here are some dates I’ve been on:

  • Sunday, Jan 24 @7pm with a guy from OkCupid: He was nice, cute, and smart, but we had zero chemistry and I’m happy it ended after only an hour. I paid for my drink. 
  • Thursday, Jan 28 @7pm with VirginiaTech from Hinge: Nickname is because he’s from Virginia, and works as a computer engineer; he did not go to that school, though. He was really funny and nice to talk to (we even got into zero waste living and sustainability, so that was pretty fun for me) but after three hours and three beers on an empty stomach, I started to grow weary. I think we’ll have a second date, but TBD if that leads to a third.
  • Friday, Jan 29, not a date: I went to a college friend’s birthday party, and gave my number to and very briefly made out with another guy who went to our college. However, I don’t think I’ll hear from him because he seems like the type who only makes the effort to suggest you stay in the cab and come over at 5am, which I politely declined.

Potential dates with low potential:

  • On Monday and on Friday I was supposed to meet up with Jersey Ginger from Hinge. He was sick on Monday, so we pushed it to Friday, and then neither of us reached out. I texted him Saturday offering a third chance, but he’s not responding. Oh whell.
  • George Costanza from Bumble (he works at the Yankees) said he is only looking for friends/casual, and I’m (still) in no position to turn down friends. My schedule got busy and then he got douchey. We will not be seeing each other.
  • On Wednesday, I’m supposed to get a drink with a writer from Girls. He’s already been out with two of my work friends (he’s a friend of my boss’s sister), so I feel suuuuuuuuuper special. We have only interacted via my work email address.

In conclusion: UGH.