Before ending it today, I semi-reluctantly had two final dates with Jewish Guy (still cringing at this name) over the weekend. On Friday, we planned to watch a movie at his apartment. I KNOW what you’re thinking, which is why I suggested we watch The Shawshank Redemption for my first time ever. He actually tried to kiss me right after someone died in the movie, which gave me a great excuse to push him away. We had popcorn and wine and I left pretty soon after the movie ended. On Sunday, we went to a really cool wine and pizza pairing class at a wine shop in the city. Today I texted him that I wasn’t feeling a romantic connection, and he said he was feeling the same and wished me the best. SUCCESS!

I kinda went buckwild this summer with money and alcohol, so I’m planning on taking a break from dating and drinking in September. Still OTL, and maybe even half expecting to meet someone when I least expect it? Definitely a realistic possibility now that I plan to stay cooped up at home every weekend making candles and soap and pickles! Just waiting for a sexy farmer to come knocking on my door, ya know??



I’ve been on two more dates with the Jewish guy (I really wanted a better name for him, but here we are. He’s not even religious!). After our first date and near-constant texting for a week, I was very excited about him—to the point that I even felt a little guilty for my afternoon delight last week. He’s super cute, and SO sweet, but I’m starting to realize that we’re probably not compatible on a deeper level. He’s also very touchy-feely and constantly wants to hold my eczema-laden hand, which I find gross and also annoying—please don’t exacerbate it! We’ve been talking a bunch, which I think will make it even harder to break things off with him when I inevitably do.

So… everyone keeps asking, and the answer is, “no, I highly doubt I’ll ever hear from Anesthesiologist again.” I thought we were all on the same page with that.

Oh, but you know who I DID hear from tonight, after 3 weeks of silence? NAVY GUY. Classic move. As you’ll recall, he was a super asshole and got mad at me for getting mad at him. I ended up being the last to respond, saying, “Ya I was drunk. Over it.” I assumed he hated me as much as I hated him, and would never hear from him again.

But then he pulls this shit:

“Hey – just wanted to say sorry for being flaky when we were hanging out :( hope there are no hard feelings

I moved to bedstuy so hit me up for a drink or coffee sometime :)”

So… no apology for overreacting and being the meanest freak ever? Ok, cool. So I just said:

“No hard feelings but I don’t see us hanging out again”

To which he boringly responded:

“All good :) just wanted to reach out and say that”

  1. I bet he thinks he has repented for his sins, been forgiven for all transgressions, and can now sleep peacefully through the night. WRONG. I still think he’s a douchebag.
  2. I think he only reached out because he now lives in my neighborhood and wanted to make sure it wouldn’t be weird if we ever ran into each other. How I dread that day.
  3. Was he asking to hang out as friends? Because that is even more hilarious than him asking to go on a date again.


P.S. I got a refund on those miserable condoms! But they are definitely not publishing my scathing 1-star review on their site. :(


Last Wednesday, I had an 8am coffee date with a teacher. Meh. (Also not my first ever before-work coffee date.)

On Saturday, I got drinks and a bite to eat with an ex-rower and painter. Better, but still meh.

On Monday, I got 3 beers (one beer beyond what I should limit myself to) with a cute and funny Jewish guy. I specify this because I somehow never date Jews, aside from Mr. Pineapple. (Am I self loathing?) I like talking to him, and will probably see him again next week. He said he doesn’t usually kiss on first dates, so I guess I’m just that irresistible. *hair flip*