I went on an unremarkable date two weeks ago. He was bald and had unsightly teeth, but was nice to talk to.

Last week, I saw a very funny play with Piano Man. I was pretty unsure if it was a date the entire time, but nonetheless we had a delightful time together, and briefly kissed at the end. However, he’s going to Arkansas for 8 weeks, so I doubt I’ll ever see him again.

Last Saturday, I had a nice time with an interesting enough guy on a rooftop bar and then at a barbecue restaurant (with my new plants in tow). I would see him again, but I’m dubious about there being a spark.

Tonight, I just got back from a date with a guy who pleasantly surprised me with how smart he is. I get the vibe that he’s not that interested though; and I don’t blame him because I was wearing baggy pants and my hair was Hermione-level poofy (book not movie, obviously).

Slim pickins, y’all!



Never spoke to or saw Degrassi Dude again; we basically both ghosted each other. Remember, ghosting is only okay when it’s consensual. #consensualghosting

Since then, I’ve had TWO IRL experiences. The first guy I met at a bar while out with my friends last weekend. Pretty sure we only talked because I was one of the last two standing, but he gave me his number and told me to text him. We texted that night, and then a tiny bit more over the next 3 days. FYI, he is patient zero of my using read receipts. He also may have a girlfriend, according to my friend who was talking to his friend that night. I asked him about it while we were still at the bar, and he said nope, he hasn’t had a girlfriend since May 2016. Why the specificity? I don’t know. But I think it means he was lying, because he actively ignored me when I asked if we should get together next week. OH WELL AT LEAST I KNOW NOW AND KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.

The same day I was ignored, I got set up with my friend’s coworker. It was basically a blind date, aside from me seeing a few photos of him, being assured he was cool and normal, and texting two and a half screenshots worth of conversation with him. I met up with him after having two glasses of wine with my coworkers, but I was still totally charming. We ended up kissing twice and then he texted me afterward telling me he had a good time. BUT THEN I FIND OUT from our matchmaker that she heard that he has been on twenty (20) dates with some other girl, and didn’t tell her about it. Not cool betraying the matchmaker like that. Sidebar with 20-date girl: Have you somehow not yet brought up the conversation after TWENTY dates with the guy? Or have you, and he is just a very gross player dressed up as a harmless nerd?

Either way, these two dudes are probably semi-seeing girls that could very well believe they are their boyfriends, and these post-diarrhea-buttholes are out kissing and giving their number to beautiful, funny, stranger girl geniuses. Is there anyone we can trust?

As for read receipts, I’m into them. I appreciate that it shows guys that I saw their dumb little message, but have no intention of responding. Also, if you feel you are getting too much emotional value from seeing a text from a certain person pop up, I suggest you Hide Alerts for their messages. It really calms the mind.


Before ending it today, I semi-reluctantly had two final dates with Jewish Guy (still cringing at this name) over the weekend. On Friday, we planned to watch a movie at his apartment. I KNOW what you’re thinking, which is why I suggested we watch The Shawshank Redemption for my first time ever. He actually tried to kiss me right after someone died in the movie, which gave me a great excuse to push him away. We had popcorn and wine and I left pretty soon after the movie ended. On Sunday, we went to a really cool wine and pizza pairing class at a wine shop in the city. Today I texted him that I wasn’t feeling a romantic connection, and he said he was feeling the same and wished me the best. SUCCESS!

I kinda went buckwild this summer with money and alcohol, so I’m planning on taking a break from dating and drinking in September. Still OTL, and maybe even half expecting to meet someone when I least expect it? Definitely a realistic possibility now that I plan to stay cooped up at home every weekend making candles and soap and pickles! Just waiting for a sexy farmer to come knocking on my door, ya know??



Last Wednesday, I had an 8am coffee date with a teacher. Meh. (Also not my first ever before-work coffee date.)

On Saturday, I got drinks and a bite to eat with an ex-rower and painter. Better, but still meh.

On Monday, I got 3 beers (one beer beyond what I should limit myself to) with a cute and funny Jewish guy. I specify this because I somehow never date Jews, aside from Mr. Pineapple. (Am I self loathing?) I like talking to him, and will probably see him again next week. He said he doesn’t usually kiss on first dates, so I guess I’m just that irresistible. *hair flip*